‘… this is what my father could have never comprehended — how closest friends can fill in the void in the life of one growing old alone.’
A FEW years before he passed away, my father tried to engage me in a serious conversation about “settling down.” It is difficult to grow old alone, he told me, saying that my older brother had a wife and daughter while my younger brother had the Society of Jesus to take care of him, while I had no one.
And then in a not-so-veiled change of opinion, he added: “You need a partner who can be with you for the rest of your life.” I noticed a slight emphasis on “partner” which years ago would have been “wife.”
My dad was speaking from experience. He lost his best friend, my mom, in 1993 after only 37 years of marriage. And while he had us his three sons (plus a daughter-in-law and niece) to keep him engaged, plus old colleagues from the UP College of Medicine and relatives in Alaminos and Paete, Laguna, I know that he wasn’t as happy as he would have been had my mother lived longer and joined him into old age.
But my dad is unlike me in many ways — he is more cerebral and more introverted than I am, and he can count his closest friends on the fingers of one hand. So that explains why, to him, growing old can be lonely. I have many friends whose company I enjoy, and who have been part of my growing old process. For this, I have been beyond fortunate.
One column will be insufficient for me to list everyone by name: my UP Elementary, high school, political science and law classmates; the friends I made in my professional life, and a few others I’ve met along the journey. But at the risk of missing out on so many, allow me to hazard mentioning a few: Attorneys Ariel Magno, Marlon Cruz, Jaime Fortes, Rowel Barba and Venepi Canta; Jon Sacro, Gerard Francisco, Franciz Allera, Lester Pascua; and if this list is all male then I will add Corie Aguirre, Miggie Isla, Trisha Icasiano, and Atty Gabriela Policarpio Roldan-Concepcion.
The latter deserves a little more mention not only because she celebrated her birthday yesterday but because she has been like the female best friend I’ve had who has been with me in the lowest points of my life and has cheered me on in the best of times.
And God has rewarded her with success in her professional life and an exemplary marriage and family life. As FLOTUP (First Lady of the University of the Philippines) she was an excellent partner to her husband, former UP President Danilo L. Concepcion. She is also mother and sister and daughter and, in all respects, she acquits herself well.
And this is what my father could have never comprehended – how closest friends can fill in the void in the life of one growing old alone. Because when one is blessed with the friends I have — Atty. Gaby at the top of the list — then one is, as I am, undeniably and uncontestably, beyond fortunate.
Happy birthday again, GPRC. Best wishes from Kagawad and me!
