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Do dreams come true?

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“I have a dream, a song to sing, if you see the wonder of a fairy tale You can take the future even if you fail to help me cope with anything”

THE above lines are from the song “I Have a Dream” by the Swedish pop group ABBA (composed of Agnetha Fältskog, Bjí¶rn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson and Anni-Frid Lyngstad).

In the history of pop music, ABBA is probably one of the most popular groups of all time. Their songs remain timeless that even those of the younger generations know them. Play the song “Dancing Queen,” which was released in 1976, and watch it turn an event into a festive happening. The song has become a staple during parties and celebrations.

Aside from “Dancing Queen,” another big ABBA hit is “I Have a Dream,” released in 1979. This is my favorite.

The dictionary defines a dream as a series of events or images that happen in your mind when you are sleeping; something that you want to happen very much but that is not very likely; or something good that someone wanted very much to happen but seemed very unlikely, yet does in fact happen.

It is said that in many ancient societies people who had dreams that came true were given specific positions in the community.

According to the website: dreaminterpretation.org there are precognitive/predictive dreams, telepathic dreams and clairvoyant dreams. There are different reasons why people experience precognitive dreams such as selective recall, association of unrelated events and coincidence.

All of us had dreams when we were young, as we started our careers, and even after we retire from working 9 to 5 jobs. We look back and ask ourselves, did our dreams come true?

So much has been written about how to achieve one’s dreams. One such method is visualization; one has to think about what one wants to achieve in detail and then picture oneself as already accomplishing that goal. We are also often given this advice: Believe in yourself and don’t be discouraged by setbacks.

l2‘Every goal we reach has once been part of a dream we thought would never come true.’– Sandra Cooze

When I daydream, it is a goal and I work hard to achieve that dream. But the dreams at night may be foreboding or just seeing someone or something that is close to my heart. I recall that of the many dreams I had, some came true, some just remained a dream. Has this happened to you?

I was transported into this dreamland as I had the opportunity recently to watch the “Abba Mania Mama Mia” show at the Newport Performing Arts Theater with my closest friends. While it was not the original ABBA that performed but a group of young artists, including a Filipino, the group did not disappoint. It was a wonderful planned weekend capped by an overnight stay at the Solaire Hotel.

Most of the numbers were of course the group’s most popular songs from the 1970s-1980s. “Take a Chance on Me”, “Knowing Me, Knowing You”, “Chiquitita”, “Fernando,” among them. At one point, the audience was asked to stand up and dance to the music: “Money, Money, Money”, “Waterloo” and “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.” My friends and I were at first too shy to stand up and dance, but when we saw many ladies dancing with gusto, we held hands and stood up and did our thing. It was throwing all inhibitions to the winds. And what fun it was!

When the group sang “The Winner Takes It All,” it left one of us in tears, the song being the favorite of her late husband. After the concert on our way back to the hotel, she haltingly told us her love story. Not only was she relieved of the burden she carried in her heart and told us a love story worth writing about.

“I don’t wanna talk about things we’ve gone through

Though it’s hurting me now it’s history

I’ve played all my cards and that’s what you’ve done, too

Nothing more to say, no more ace to play …

The gods may throw the dice their minds as cold as ice

And someone way down here loses someone dear

The winner takes it all…”

Many more songs were sung: “Mama Mia”, “One of Us”, “Super Trouper”, “I Do, I Do, I Do.” The audience just couldn’t get enough of them, and they were treated to more encore numbers. By then, most of the audience was up on their feet dancing and spilling over into the aisles.

The show finally ended with “Dancing Queen,” and we wanted more!

The theater was filled to the brim and when the lights went on, we were surprised to recognize many friends, mostly from our generation. In fact, I met one of my nieces who watched the show by herself. We had fun catching up on each other’s lives and made a date to watch a Bootleg Beatles show sometime in October.

Then perhaps I can write about the songs that touched us from that era. Life is a Spiral, we remember songs in our youth, in our young adult life and think about the good times we had and hope to continue having good times till we reach the end of that spiral.

Superstition

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‘When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.’ Mark Twain

stairsWhat is superstition? I googled, and got this info: Superstition is a widely held but unjustifiable belief in supernatural causation leading to certain consequences. Merriam Webster says it is a belief or practice resulting from ignorance or fear of the unknown, trust in magic or chance. Cambridge says it is a belief that is not based on human reason or scientific knowledge but is connected with old ideas about magic.

I got curious about superstition when I came from the wake of my roommate in the Sampaguita Residence Hall at UP many moons ago. I spent hours talking to her husband and Menchit’s “little” boys, now all grown up. When I stood up to go, one of the sons said:

“Tita, we see you off here as we cannot bring you to your car.” I thought I understood but one of my companions explained: “It is not right to see guests off during a wake.” “Why?” I asked. “It is a belief that has been practiced for the longest time. It would mean that we will never see each other in this life but only in the after-life.”

Another roommate cautioned against going straight home “We have to go elsewhere before heading home so that the spirit of Menchit will not follow us home. It is called “pag-pag.”

And I paused to wonder about these superstitious beliefs that have been passed on from generation to generation. Whether we are conscious of them or not, they are intertwined with our daily lives.

The young may shrug them off as “untruths” that have no place in the modern world.

However, a friend says that her Gen Z nieces actually practice some of them.

The long drive gave me and my friends much time to share about the beliefs that are practiced in our own household and in many Filipino households especially in the provinces.

Bella shared that when we were in University she never showed her parents pictures of us posing in threes. There were four of us roommates so one took the photo while the other three posed. Bella’s parents would have been upset because there is a belief that when three people pose for a photo, the one in the middle would be the first to die.

Moving house

When I transferred to a new condominium unit nearer my place of work, my carpenter asked me to bring salt, water and some rice or bigas to make work easier for him. I did what he said. Of course I included a crucifix with my Catholic upbringing asserting itself.

Since my condominium unit is just a small “hotel —room”, my carpenter did not worry about stairs. He explained that when building stairs, you have to take care to count the number of steps, they should be in even numbers and the top step should either be oro or plata for good fortune This explains why carpenters recite: oro, plata, mata to themselves when they build stairs. You must avoid ending with mata as the word means death and could bring you bad luck

Weddings

On our way home, we had to stop by a dressmaker to accompany a niece who was attending a friend’s wedding. And again, this started a discussion on superstitious beliefs of weddings.

A common superstition is avoiding the “sukob”, a term that translates in English as “sharing.” It is said that siblings should avoid marrying within the same year as this could signal the death of a family member or divide the luck between the two marriages.

At the dressmaker, we saw the wedding dress of her friend. The dress looked too big. The somewhat frustrated dressmaker said fitting a wedding dress was a no-no as this would bring bad luck, an unhappy married life or heaven forbid the cancellation of the wedding.

To beat around this practice, the dressmaker can fit the lining of the dress before she sews the dress itself.

Other superstitious beliefs

Another superstitious belief that is still very popular is for diners to turn one’s plate when a person leaves the table. Those who are still eating should turn their plates to wish for the safety of the person leaving. Also the table should not be cleared while there are still people eating as the person left eating will have a lonely life and will not marry at all.

Then there is the usog or bati. When someone praises the physical attributes of your child, you should respond with the phrase “pwera usog.” This is to offset the strong energy that some people may give off that could cause the child discomfort. Should that happen, the giver is asked to touch the child’s forehead with the giver’s saliva. Some parents pin amulets on the child’s clothes or mark their foreheads with red lipstick to block any negative energies.

These superstitious beliefs are just that–beliefs. What one becomes really depends on how one lives one’s life.

Life is a spiral….we live each day as best as we can.

Life is a spiral: Mahintana

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‘Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.’ — Winston Churchill

LAST month, I had the opportunity to join my office team that flew to South Cotabato to inaugurate and turn over two renovated and refurbished rural health units: the Baluan Rural Health Unit and the Polomolok East Community Clinic (PECC) which included a Polomolok Felicidad T. Sy Center Animal Bite Clinic.

It was also an opportunity for me to meet with the people behind the Mahintana Foundation, Inc. Mahintana, meaning “sea and land,” is so named to honor the first indigenous settlers of South Cotabato, the B’laans. The B’laans live around Lake Sebu and other municipalities of the province. The B’laan is one of the major indigenous, non-Islamic tribal groups in the country.

I was introduced to Lisa Duropan-Hora, the very dynamic executive director of the foundation, and for three days I bonded with her and got an intensive insight into the Mahintana Foundation. It turns out that she and our own Connie Angeles have been working together on projects like the HealthPlus Project in Lagao.

I was in awe of her bamboo handicraft project (basic production of bamboo handicrafts to maximize the use of the material which in turn has given birth to the extensive planting of bamboo). I was shown utensils made of bamboo which were on display at an event LawiL Di Afus.

Her Nutripan bread project, launched in partnership with Dole Philippines, seeks to improve children’s diets to reduce malnutrition by developing healthy and nutritious food. I was told by one resident that nutripan has variants like squash, carrots and sweet potatoes and because these sell out every day, plans are afoot  to increase production thus giving employment opportunities to women. These projects have had a domino effect on the livelihood of women in the community.

Because Polomolok is the site of a 22,000 plus-hectare pineapple plantation, livelihood support is given to farmers and their families for the processing of pineapple leaves from which is extracted the material that is the base of piñatex or pineapple fiber.

Coffee which thrives in Sultan Kudarat is one of the main and high revenue-generating industries that is being supported. Various training programs are conducted to improve the coffee industry.

Lisa has more projects like the Project Safe (support & sustain learning opportunities for children), ProPeace (projects for the improvement of security, tolerance & respect for the diversity of Tri-People); Adopt-a-School Program; SEED Farm Program (agriculture-based technologies & innovation; Ridge-to-Reef Program (consolidate development projects from the headwaters of Kilman & Siliway rivers); Gully Tree Planting and many more which if enumerated would take the whole page of this column.

The Mahintana Foundation was founded on Aug. 12, 1977. Mahintana then was under the direct supervision of Dole Philippines, Inc. until 1993 when it was spun off from Dole’s supervision. Today, Mahintana is governed by a board of trustees whose members come from corporate, business and social development institutions. Its programs and operations have beneficiaries in communities not only in South Cotabato but in other Mindanao provinces as well.

Its primary mission is to improve the target communities’ quality of life and make an impact on the development of their resiliency and sustainable development.

Over the years, Mahintana has established networks and linkages with many local and international organizations; partnering with local government units, non-governmental organizations, the private sector, the academe and other stakeholders.

The PECC and the Polomolok Clinic are joint initiatives with SM, particularly the Felicidad Sy Foundation to benefit GIDAs (geographically isolated and disadvantaged areas). The center is expected to be able to dispense medical and health services to 50,000 beneficiaries, mostly B’laan in Maligo, Landan, Kinilis, Silway 7, Upper Klinan, Klinan 6, Cannery 1, Cannery 2, Lamcaliaf and Palkan.

Geographically isolated and disadvantaged areas (GIDAs) refer to areas or communities with marginalized populations that are physically and socio-economically hard to reach or are separated from the mainstream society and characterized by the absence or limited access to roads, and thus have less or no opportunities at all for development, social services and food security. The health situation in GIDAs is generally characterized by high morbidity and mortality, resulting from poor access to quality health services, lack of health facilities and inadequate logistical support.

Other GIDA areas are located in Aeta-populated areas and T’boli areas.

For Mahintana Foundation president Martiniano Magdolot, the sustained collaboration with partners and supporters enabled it to innovate and strengthen programs, services and advocacies. “We are proud of our partnerships with our longtime partners and supporters who untiringly support the programs and advocacies of Mahintana.”

For indeed, life is a spiral, we reach out to those at the bottom of the spiral and help them climb up.

 

Life is a spiral: My writing journey with ‘Tweetums’

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(Second of two parts)

“I am not a teacher, but an awakener.”– Robert Frost

Tweetums Gonzalez Ventura with students at her first class in Sunshine Place.

She was such a good teacher.

I remember a quote which perfectly described her:  “A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination and instill the love of learning.”

I am proud to share that our class was able to produce a book of our pieces. The anthology is titled Finding the Sun.

What I found most endearing about the “great” teacher was that after class, we would eat together at Happy Garden, the restaurant below the second floor of the Sunshine Place where we held our classes. And over lunch, we would unconsciously shift our topics around, from our personal lives to creative stories in general. Of course, we always talked about “love,” the greatest topic for all of us.

I teased her about one of her greatest loves who turned out to have been a neighbor when I was in school. He was the “campus heartthrob” because of his good looks, I teased. But Tweetums would not say that he was handsome, pointing out however that he was ‘kind and good.’  Never said a bad word about anybody.

I remember too that Tweetums initiated a bar-like atmosphere at Happy Garden where we had singing a la karaoke on weekends. The restaurant would fill to the rafters with seniors like me dressed up and gathered enough courage to sing in front of a crowd. Here, we all met Atty. Loy who turned out to be a great singer.

Soon, she and Atty. Loy opened a bar on Shaw Blvd and perhaps that started their love affair.  Many of us seniors would visit the bar but not too often as we thought she should attract other clients, not just seniors but young adults too.

After this, I started to miss Tweetums as she spent more time with Atty. Loy. When they married, she stopped her teaching sessions altogether. It was a happy/sad feeling.

I did not mind her absence because I knew she was enjoying a happy life with Atty. Loy. Until the day she resumed her writing class; we learned that Atty. Loy had suffered a stroke.

Students were back signing in for her class. As expected, her class was overbooked. However, I got a reservation for a class that was to open in August.

Then I heard about Atty. Loy’s passing.

In one of our lunches together she told me of her breast surgery. I related to her that my foster Mother lived with breast cancer for twenty years. Tweetums then assured me that she would live longer than that. In her characteristic hearty laugh that reverberated through the walls of the restaurant, she said “I would have been 99 years old by then.”

I had a good laugh too, my last laugh with my good teacher.

Farewell dear Tweetums! It was a pleasure to have been your student!

 

My writing journey with ‘Tweetums’

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“I am not a teacher, but an awakener.” — Robert Frost

(First of two parts)

IN our lifetime, there are people we meet who make an impact in our lives.

Tweetums Gonzalez Ventura

I have been blessed to meet many such persons since my growing up years and one of them was Barbara “Tweetums” Gonzalez-Ventura, lifestyle columnist at the Philippine Star who passed on recently. She conducted writing workshops at the Sunshine Place, helping her students discover themselves through writing and teaching them the best way to share life lessons that they’ve learned.

Tweetums was an advertising executive. She was a National Book awardee and author of How Do You Know Your Pearls Are Real? On Single Parenthood and Other Ms Adventures, and We’re History!, a collection of the columns she wrote on ordinary life.

It was in one of these workshops that I got to know more about her. But even before this encounter, I had heard about her from friends and read her columns regularly. While I had tried writing columns for another paper in the 1990s, creative writing was something new then which I wanted to try, so I eagerly enrolled in one of her workshops. It was my first class in creative writing. I was so bewitched by her method that I enrolled in all her regular classes at Sunshine Place. I only stopped enrolling when she went on a leave of absence after her marriage to Atty. Loy.

Since it was a small class of 5 to 6 students, she made us write our short pieces in class using her method of clustering, or using a focusing word to activate your “right brain” that makes you creative. It gives you access to patterns hidden in your brain, strengthens your own voice and provides you with focus. Sometimes you write poetry from the center of that word, sometimes you write prose.

A focusing word triggers associations; becomes a magnet which attracts images, feelings, emotional nuances, lines from song. Sometimes you keep an attitude of playfulness and let your words spill out. We usually write this on paper as though brainstorming. My paper was always full of words that I never imagined existed in my brain. Then I felt an urge to write, which Tweetums called a shift.

At times, I did not use all the words in my cluster. What my classmates and I wrote in class, we call vignettes, our full pieces for the day. We hooked our thoughts to our beginning sentence. And thoughts flowed easily. At the end, we were asked to look at the beginning sentence then repeat a word or phrase at the end of your vignette, the dominant emotion which Tweetums called Snake Bites its Tail.

After about an hour or two, we checked our pieces (mine was always the grammar) then we read our vignettes, she listened and critiqued each of our work. We would each ask whether it conformed with her lectures or not, or if it lacked luster. Many times I rewrote it and that became my “homework.” She would give us pieces by renowned writers as “samples” to inspire us to do our own prose or poetry. I made so many mistakes but she patiently corrected them. I recall my homework in my next classes were “almost” good, so she would say. But I doubted it

Family and family ties

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‘You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them’. — Bishop Desmond Tutu

PHOTO FROM PINTEREST

NO one is born to be alone. Every person is born into this world to be part of a community. Each individual is born into a family. The family is thus the first community in which one becomes a member.

The importance of the family cannot be overstated. Even the framers of our Constitution set out to emphasize its primacy and importance: “The State recognizes the Filipino family as the foundation of the nation.”

In our culture, we value most our family, whether nuclear, extended or adopted. It is in the family where we learn how to love, show compassion and build trust and loyalty.

I have just gone through a heartrending experience which to me proves that family comes above anything else in your life. My only sister recently succumbed to Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s disease. She had lived for most of her adult life in the US, alone with her husband (they had no children), away from her closest and dearest in the Philippines.

Some our first degree cousins lived in a nearby state but she hardly kept in touch with them. She and her husband would come home once in a while for a visit, especially when our parents were still alive.

When she was stricken with the dreadful disease, her husband reached out to our cousins in the States, perhaps to share the burden of his pain and loss — not physically as medical assistance was at their fingertips, but for filial support. They were of course ready with whatever comfort and support they could give and when the time came to say their final goodbyes, the family went to be with him in his time of grief.

We were burning the telephone wires to help but we were oceans apart.

Weeks later, her ashes were brought home to be inurned beside our parents. We held a brief wake where family and friends came to condole with us, to help out with the religious rituals, the documentation and the thousand and one chores needed at such a time.

My brother and I could not have done all these by ourselves. Seeing and talking to family during the wake helped to alleviate the pain that we were carrying. We never seemed to tire of talking with our cousins, recalling our childhood, dredging up our shared memories, remembering each other’s likes, dislikes, even our childhood tantrums.

We Filipinos try our best to show our filial devotion. Parents work hard to provide for their families–from sustenance to clothing and shelter to education. Children on the other hand care for elderly parents, making sure they live comfortably and in good health. Many decisions on important matters are arrived at after consultation with other members of the extended family. It is also from the family that one gets support and unconditional love in spite of and through one’s failures and shortcomings. And when one member falters or fails, the family tries to shield him or her from being judged by others. It is in the family where one’s place is irreplaceable.

While we don’t choose our family, opening our hearts wide to receive love from family is our choice. So is reciprocating this by loving them back.

Like a spiral, sometimes we go up, many times we slide down, and at all these times family is a symbol of unity, of oneness, and the repository of our deepest connections.